Dilemma
by MossyLunaMoth
Summary: Shortly after the fourth war, a catastrophic event brings the death of all civilians, leaving only shinobi behind. Three years later and Sakura is experiencing the full ramifications of this event - her life having been altered for the worse. A new mission to find the source of the catastrophe brings her hope, but complications are never far off.


**A/N:** I'll start off by saying that this fic does feature a love triangle. I wanted to get that out of the way because I know some people aren't into that. Also, the T rating is subject to change in the future. I still haven't conceptualized an ending for this. As terrible as that might sound, I believe the only way I'm going to find an ending is simply through writing it. It is important to note this world is going to be fairly different from the Naruto you know, as expected when a catastrophe this significant happens.

 **I'm currently looking for beta readers if you're interested.**

 **Edit:** I've fixed the formatting for this chapter and I've also done some other revisions to it. It's basically the same but I've changed several sentence structures to help the story flow better and I've added some internal thoughts. Before I felt like the story was too impersonal. I've also fixed some grammatical errors.

* * *

The exposed skin of Sakura's neck and arms felt like they were sizzling under the summer sun. Repetitive motions of lifting her hoe to plow the soil left her whole body aching with a dull soreness and her drab civilian clothes soaked in sweat.

 _Shit, I'm gonna be covered in sunburns by the time I'm done_ , she internally groaned.

Despite the taxing work, she was determined to finish early so she could make her way to the market before the sun set too low. Although the days may be hot, they were also growing shorter, indicating fall was on the horizon. _Not like_ _I wasn't already struggling to finish this crap before dark_.

She could at least appreciate the quiet existence of living on a small piece of farmland situated along the outskirts of Konoha. Only the bleating of her sheep and the clucking of chickens greeted her everyday while she toiled away at her land. If she was lucky with this month's income there may even be the addition of snuffling from the two cows she yearned to purchase.

Pausing momentarily to lean onto her hoe, she proceeded to swipe some stray sweat from her brows and stretch her legs. That was then she felt a sudden presence behind her, making her nearly jump out of her skin. _Nobody comes by to visit_.

Twisting her head around so quickly it was painful, she was instantly met with a smirking Genma, his senbon hanging precariously from the mouth.

"What's up?" he greeted, letting his gaze travel over the contents of her small farm.

"Nothing much," Sakura chirped, feeling a bit of giddiness at his arrival. It could only mean one thing – she would be graced with a mission for the first time in nearly three months. However, if her assumption on receiving a mission was correct, she probably wouldn't be able to finish plowing for today. _Whatever, I need a serious break from this_.

Grabbing her hoe, Sakura inclined her head towards the back porch of her house. "Come on in," she offered, noting Genma had widened his grin at her invitation.

He walked with her to the tiny wooden house she occupied, stopping once to scratch a sheep behind the ears when it approached to sniff a pocket on his pants.

"I don't remember seeing these fella's last time I came by," he stated casually, his body steadily encroaching so close to her own their arms brushed with every stride. Sakura didn't even notice, her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of a mission and all the things the new funds could afford her.

"Yeah, I just got them a month ago actually. Ino said she'd teach me how to dye the wool and make myself some decent clothes," she laughed lightly, absently tugging at the loose strands of her brown shirt.

Before now the only times she ever got new clothes was when her mother made them or Ino dragged her around when shopping. Her mother was no longer here, however, and Sakura's finances couldn't afford the pretty clothes she saw on the rare occasion Ino took her out shopping.

Inviting him inside, Sakura moved to get two glasses of water while Genma made himself comfy on the only sofa occupying her house.

Her home contained one room downstairs that shared the living and dining areas with a small nook upstairs for her bedroom. It was nothing like her parent's house which she'd been forced to sell when the bills got too high. She figured it could always be worse, though, and at least she didn't have to occupy the slums like some of the other unfortunate souls.

Giving Genma his glass, Sakura plopped onto her couch with a content sigh, making sure to place some distance between herself and his outspread legs. She sincerely hoped she didn't stink, knowing her morning application of deodorant had long outlived its use.

Gulping down her entire glass in one swig, Sakura turned to him with a palpable eagerness. "So, what are you here for?" she asked with a neutral tone, attempting to contain her excitement.

"Didn't think you'd be this happy to see me," he teased, seeming to enjoy the small frown she gave him as he retrieved a scroll from his pants. "Maybe I should come over more often," he suggested, wiggling his eyebrows at her for extra effect.

"Yeah, whatever," she sighed, rolling her eyes before snatching the scroll out of his hand. "So, what's my mission?" she asked before he could interrupt with anymore snarky comments.

"Don't know," he shrugged, "apparently it's top secret."

This info caused Sakura to burst into a beaming smile, her hands holding the scroll like it was a lifeline. A top secret mission not only meant she would be doing something important since forever, but she'd also receive a good payment too. _I can buy a hell of a lot more than a couple of cows_.

"Okay, so when do I have to see my Sens- I mean the Hokage?" she stumbled over her mistake, still not used to thinking of her lazy teacher as the leader of an entire village.

"You've got about three hours," Genma responded, reaching over to rest one arm behind her shoulders.

He hadn't managed to touch her before she leaped off the sofa, her movements frantic as she began shuffling around her home like a madwoman. Her mind was solely focused on gathering the baskets of fruits, veggies, and herbal tinctures she prepared earlier this morning.

"Dammit, I've gotta get to the market like right now," she blurted out, casting Genma a sympathetic glance while zooming around her home. "Sorry, I just don't have time for chit-chat right now."

He sighed and lifted himself from the couch, his shoulders slumped as he sauntered to her front door. She could easily tell he wasn't too happy about leaving so soon.

"No worries. See you later, I guess," he stated evenly, barely making it out the door before Sakura promptly locked it and sprinted away with several baskets.

Truthfully, she was a little grateful for the chance to be rid of Genma's overbearing presence. _I can never tell when he's being serious_.

* * *

Sakura barely waved to the stationed guards she passed by when flying through Konoha's gates, desperate to reach her market stand asap.

The streets she darted through were nearly empty of people, and boarded up buildings greeted her on every side. Konoha was like most other villages still around - slowly decaying with no residents to fill the empty houses already showing signs of dilapidation.

It didn't take her long to reach her weathered wooden stand, it's location only a little ways from the middle of Konoha's only central plaza. She preferred not being surrounded by the busy crowd and risk having some of her produce stolen in the chaos - a hard lesson learned previously.

She arranged all her products neatly on the stand before putting up her sign announcing fresh produce and healing services. Ino had been nice enough to help decorate it by painting vibrant fruits and vegetables on either side of the lettering.

Now all she only had to do was wait for incoming customers, which she figured wouldn't be long considering the large crowd gathering for lunch. _Please hurry and buy all my stuff now so I don't cook in the sun_.

It didn't take but several minutes for one of her regulars, Izumo, to push his way through the crowd to reach her stand. "Wasn't expecting to see you here this early," he greeted, giving her a soft smile before examining one of her tinctures.

"Yeah, well, I've got a briefing over a mission later today with the Hokage," she smiled, renewed excitement rolling off her in waves. There was no need to give Izumo the usual spiel over how great her medicine was - he was well aware. She much preferred casual conversation over sales talk. That definitely wasn't her forte.

"Hey there!" Kotetsu shouted over the crowd, clapping one hand on Izumo's shoulder while another swiped one of her ripest tomatoes. He bit into it before she even had a chance to protest.

"You better plan on paying for that," she admonished playfully. Kotetsu had always been a loyal customer to her. He was even gracious enough to tip her an extra ryo once in a while.

"Of course, anything for the best produce in Konoha," he winked, flipping a couple of ryo at her she caught with ease.

"Sakura here has got a mission," Izumo mentioned while nudging Kotetsu to get his attention, causing the latter to blink owlishly as he processed the information.

"You haven't had a mission in forever. Hell, I've hardly seen anyone out on missions besides the elite Jonin's," Kotetsu commented, turning to her with a perplexed expression.

Under normal circumstances Sakura would have been considered an elite Jonin herself, but clearly there weren't enough missions to hand out. She had neither the superior intellect of Shikamaru nor the bloodlines of a Hyuga. _I'm still the best healer in this village_. Even so, the number of people who required one was on the decline.

"Not just any mission - it's top secret," she gloated, not hiding her enthusiasm from them.

They both shared a surprised look with each other that immediately piqued Sakura's interest. Just as she was about to speak up, a man she recognized as Raido due to the distinctive scar crossing over his nose and onto his cheek, approached her stand.

He quickly procured a bouquet of roses with an arrangement she recognized as distinctively Ino's. _Thanks Ino-pig, I'm sure you're watching this right now for a good laugh_. The blond always seemed to take a special delight in Sakura's romantic life, especially since Sasuke left the picture.

Both Kotetsu and Izumo appeared to tense up at his romantic gesture, and Sakura couldn't blame them. It created a completely awkward moment she was ill prepared for.

In a world where shinobi men outnumbered kunoichi more than two to one, Sakura knew a young, unmarried, and powerful kunoichi like herself was prime meat. Being bombarded by affections of men was something she absolutely hated dealing with.

"Thank you for the flowers, they're beautiful," she responded on autopilot, grabbing the bouquet before holding it at her side with a tight fist.

"Yeah, I saw them and thought of you. If you're not busy after this maybe I can take you out to eat?" Raido asked with composure, appearing unaffected by the two males now gawking at him.

"Smooth," Kotetsu sniggered, glancing at his partner who was biting his lip to hide a smile. Her and Raido both turned to him with a glare. _Thanks guys, I'm sure this is so fucking funny_.

"Sorry, but I'm pretty busy today and have to see the Hokage," she intercepted quickly, giving Raido one of her convincing fake smiles. She really hoped he wouldn't start anything with the other two men. Last thing she needed was her stand getting crushed in a testosterone filled fight.

"No problem. Another time then," he shrugged before making his way back into the crowd - not without leaving the two other men with a fierce glare. Sakura could have sighed in relief.

"That was interesting," Izumo smirked, taking the tincture he was interested in earlier before placing coins on her counter.

"Yeah, and I thought Gai had terrible game," Kotetsu snorted.

"Would you two stop it," she bristled, frowning at them both.

They only chuckled in response before they too were making their way back into the crowd.

"See you soon. No time for romance, guard duties are awaiting," Kotetsu called over his shoulder, still wearing that shit-eating grin. She just groaned under her breath and tried to soothe her mild irritation.

 _Just a little longer and I'll be on a mission far way from Konoha's desperate male population_.

Sakura knew it wasn't easy for them when the pickings were slim, but she believed they could at least restrain themselves a little. Not even Kurenai, still grieving over Asuma while caring for her child, was free from their advances.

She pondered that maybe if she had gotten married like the rest of her friends then she wouldn't have to put up with this nearly everyday. This reasoning began leading her down a dark series of thoughts she didn't feel like acknowledging.

* * *

The next two hours passed by unceremoniously for the most part. Her products managed to sell as quickly as she could hope for, and she even had the luck of repairing the severely fractured arm and leg of a young boy who felt out of a tree.

When she finished healing them, however, Sakura couldn't help but to notice this exhausted her more than was typical. _I'm going to start falling behind if I can't find people to practice on_. Having access to such a small number of patients was doing her no favors.

Placing the pretty bouquet in an empty basket, she mulled over her current lack of training while making her way to the Academy. She realized she was no longer at her prime, and this awareness brought made her hesitate at the thought of taking on such a high level mission.

Despite the nagging feeling of insecurity, Sakura consoled herself with the knowledge she was still a Jonin and that Kakashi must clearly trust her abilities to give her such an important mission.

After everything had gone to shit, Kakashi had promised her when missions were made available he would try to assign her, if possible. Unfortunately, those missions were few and far between.

When she reached the door to the Hokage's office, Sakura internally sighed at the sight of Izumo and Kotetsu stationed on either side of it with knowing smirks.

She opted to ignore them both, choosing to move past them to get into the office. She did find it strange they followed her inside, but still refrained from making any comments.

The first sight that greeted her was an obviously exhausted Kakashi with dark circles lining his baggy eyes. A movement to his left redirected her attention to Naruto who had clearly been sleeping at his desk thanks to the piece of paper attached to his cheek from drool.

Naruto shot out of his chair when he saw her, the paper on his face flying to the floor. "Sakura!" he shouted, rushing over to grab her in a bone-crushing hug. "It feels like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Naruto, I can't breathe," she gasped out, attempting to push him away lightly. It took a couple of seconds before he released his hold, but he still hovered next to her without a care for her personal space.

The way his eyes roamed over her made her feel like she was a microscopic specimen.

Apparently she met his expectations because he finished his examination with a lopsided grin. "You've got a tan," he remarked with a chuckle, "and you're arms look bigger too." She gave him a light smack upside the head for that comment.

"Well, that's what happens when you work instead of sleeping on the job," she sighed, turning back to face a chuckling Kakashi.

"He's had his fair share of work lately, so don't treat him too harshly," Kakashi mentioned, his eyes wrinkled in a smile. "How's the farm treating you?"

 _I'd rather not talk about it_.

"It's good, I guess," she answered with a light tone, "just the usual." She sincerely hoped he wouldn't see that things were not alright.

It wasn't like she had much of a choice over her circumstances. She didn't have enough missions to provide a sufficient income and there weren't enough patients needing healing. With all the civilians dead the primary jobs available were either farming or manual labor, and she picked the former.

"This mission should break up the monotony," he remarked with a look that told her he could see right through her. "We need a healer for it, and you're first pick," he continued on as she walked up to his desk to place her mission scroll on top of it.

With a few hand signs Kakashi broke the seal to the scroll and gestured for her take it. "We think we've found a connection to the event that happened three years ago," he began seriously, causing her to go completely slack-jawed, "Sasuke sensed a chakra signature similar to the one we felt before the catastrophe."

"I don't understand-" Sakura started before getting cut off by Kakashi.

"People have been disappearing near the border of Amegakure. Some have been lucky to return, but they're non-responsive and injured. There are some covered in burns while others return in a state of hypothermia," he concluded while Naruto moved to sit back down at his own desk with an uncharacteristically sullen expression.

"What's causing this?" she thought aloud, her mind spiraling into fear and confusion. _Oh fuck, please tell me it's not going to happen again. What if it's stronger this time? Shit, we might all just die this time._

"We don't know. That's why we need you to heal them and gather some intel." Kakashi folded his hands on his desk before resting his chin on top of them, giving a thoughtful glance at the stack of papers in front of him. It was such a Sasuke-esque gesture Sakura had to resist looking away, feeling discomfort at the reminder.

"When do I leave?" she asked, shifting with unease. The uncertainty of what would greeted her at the border left her feeling a bit more than just apprehensive.

"Sometime tomorrow before the evening. You'll be teamed with Kotetsu and Izumo over there who will be your bodyguards and help you gather intel."

Sakura wanted to bang her head against the wall. Now she understood why they followed her inside. Of course she would be teamed with the two guys who witnessed her receiving that embarrassing courtship display earlier.

"Seeing as you're the only Jonin, I'm confident you'll do well as captain," Kakashi finished while leaning back into his chair with a sigh.

Euphoria washed over her at the realization she would be the official captain of her team for the first time. It was quashed quickly when the reality of this mission hit her again.

"Thank you for giving me this," she said with a low bow. He always hated it when she used formalities with him, but they were too ingrained in her head from all those years as Tsunade's assistant.

He gave her a shooing gesture to indicate her dismissal and she responded with another respectful bow before walking away. Her hand had just touched the doorknob when a voice halted her.

"Nobody besides those in this room can know of this," Kakashi announced, his tone unusually severe.

Swallowing thickly, Sakura gave him a stiff nod, "I understand."

* * *

Leaving that office relieved some of Sakura's tension until her two bodyguards trailed out after her. Both Izumo and Kotetsu moved close to her side while she stood restlessly in the hall, her mind trying to come up with a plan.

"So tell us captain, when do we set out?" Kotetsu asked when she hadn't spoken to them after a minute.

She wasn't ignoring them on purpose. It was simply that the implications of this mission could mean either the world was at risk again, or she would help prevent what had killed both her parents previously.

She waited another moment to speak, wanting her voice to not betray her inner turmoil. "I've got to get some supplies from the hospital and find someone who can take care of my farm while I'm away. Why don't we meet up at twelve tomorrow?"

They both nodded and returned to their station without another word. She figured they must have sensed she needed time to herself because usually they always had something to say.

She left the academy with her mind full, but barely made it far before a finger tapped her shoulder. It was Raido. _Obviously I can't catch a break_.

"Sorry if I made things awkward with the flowers, I'm not exactly good with being romantic," he began stammering, "I know I'm probably not someone you would normally consider, but I think it's worth a try. I can give you what you need. Something better than farm life," he finished with a sympathetic expression.

"I like my farm," she grimaced. That might be a lie, but she couldn't stand the thought of people pitying her. She was a big girl who could take care of herself. She wasn't about to marry someone out of convenience.

"I've gotta go, I have some really important things to do," she mumbled in a rush, not about to give him a chance to respond any further.

Sakura tried not to look like she was running from him while speedily walking away, but she just needed to put as much distance between them as possible.

He made no effort to follow after her and she wondered if he'd give it up for now. _Hopefully for eternity_.

* * *

Her first stop was the hospital that hadn't held a patient in months. She was technically still the head of it even if it was practically never used.

When the catastrophe happened she was left with one fourth of the staff she had before. Sakura knew it was only natural for the rest of her nurses to leave when the patient count dropped dramatically. Even she was forced to leave for greener pastures, literally.

Digging out the hospital's rusty keys from her pocket, Sakura opened the main door that creaked in protest. A flood of hot air rushed past her, making her brace for another round of sweating. _Damnit, I'm going to smell awful by the time I reach Ino_. She just hoped she could get in and out as quickly as possible.

The hospital's halls echoed eerily with each step she took, increasing her need to leave with every passing moment. Thankfully the supplies room was easy enough to reach - the floating dust particles inside it reminding her of its disuse. She was glad it at least still maintained that clinical smell which should mean everything was sanitary.

Grabbing supplies off the shelves, Sakura shoved them into her empty baskets in a rush. She knew it was ridiculous to be scared of the hospital she knew so well, but its emptiness was seriously creeping her out. This was no longer the hospital she once thought of as a second home.

After making sure her baskets were secure, she darted out the hospital and then secured the doors. _Well, at least it wasn't haunted_.

The air outside was cooler than inside the hospital's, so she paused to inhale deeply, enjoying the refreshing scents of flowers and food from a nearby restaurant.

She let herself take some pleasure in the relatively quiet walk to her next destination: the flower shop Ino typically occupied. It wasn't exactly a flower shop anymore - more like a general store nowadays. Nobody could afford splurging on flowers like they used to, so Ino was forced to broaden her merchandise.

Two bells tinkered overhead when she entered the store, a breeze of cool air lightly scented with sweet florals washing over her. Ino and Sai stood next to each other behind the counter, both with that fake salesperson smile plastered on their faces.

Their smiles became genuine the second they recognized her.

"Sakura!" Ino shrieked, rushing to pull Sakura in a tight hug that gave her a real sense of deja vu.

"Hello to you too, Ino," she greeted, giving Sai a small smile over Ino's shoulder.

Releasing her, Ino stood back only to give Sakura a glance over. "I thought I'd never see you with a farmers tan," she chuckled before sashaying back to the counter to lean on it.

"Even Naruto has commented on it," Sakura sighed, making her way over to the counter.

"Did you happen to see him at the Hokage's office?" Sai asked to which Sakura nodded in affirmation. "So I'm assuming this means you have a mission," he stated, giving her a peculiar stare.

Apparently something about her expression must have confirmed what he said because Ino started looking like she could practically bounce with excitement.

"Tell me all about it," Ino whispered to her like they were about to share some juicy gossip.

"I can't, it's classified," Sakura dismissed, causing the blond to pout.

"This mission is the reason you're here, right?" Sai asked.

"Yep. I need someone to take care of the farm for me while I'm gone." Sakura figured it was better to get straight to the point. They'd been nice enough to help her the last time she went on a mission, and she hoped they were available now.

"How long will you be gone?" Ino asked, leaning closer to her.

Sakura furrowed her brows in thought. Kakashi hadn't imposed a set time limit on her, which was understandable. Neither of them could guess exactly how long it could take to heal the people who disappeared, and more time would be spent afterwards while her team gathered intel. She could only assume Kakashi wanted it finished asap, and she honestly did too.

"I don't know. However long it takes, I guess," she answered after a few seconds.

"Well, me and Sai don't have anything better to do so obviously we'll do it," Ino replied curtly. Sakura was just about to break into a grin when Ino's expression suddenly turned mischievous. "However, you have to tell us how you liked your bouquet first."

 _Of course she knew. Ino, I swear, I'm not going to let you try and set me up with someone again_.

"So you did know!" Sakura accused, giving both of them a glare. "It was pretty since you made it, Ino-pig, but I turned him down."

"Aw, and he was so nervous when he came in today that it was almost cute," Ino chuckled. Sai's expression was almost always neutral, but Sakura swore in that moment he looked amused.

"Whatever," she grumbled, "you know you can take whatever you want from my crops, I don't care."

Allowing them to take some of her produce was the only way she could realistically pay them back. They never asked for payment before, apparently aware she didn't have much money, but at least they seemed content with helping out a close friend anyways.

She would always be eternally grateful there were still some people out there who genuinely cared about her.

* * *

By the time Sakura managed to make it back home, it was already dusk. Ino had just about talked her ear off and she barely managed to make it out the shop door before it became too late.

Her chickens and sheep running up to her to beg for food was her only "welcome home" greeting. She didn't mind this too much, glad she at least had some company to keep the loneliness at bay. _At least I'm not living entirely by myself_.

After quickly tending to her farm, she moved inside to take a well warranted shower. This was one of her favorite times, when she was granted some decent relaxation after a long day of physical work.

She was too exhausted to worry about preparing dinner after her shower, instead choosing to climb the ladder to her bedroom and collapse onto the bed.

The warm shower and fragrant scents of the herbs she hung up to dry made her ready to cozy up and go to sleep, but she had to review her mission scroll first. After examining it with droopy eyelids, she tossed it onto her nightstand before curling into a ball under the sheets.

This wasn't the life she envisioned for herself after the war – to work the fields like an impoverished civilian. She tried not mull over this every time she went to bed, and yet she couldn't help but to worry about what sort of future there was with a life like this.

She managed to placate herself with thoughts of the upcoming mission that would grant her new funds, but the potential danger of it led her into a fitful sleep.

Visions of her family and team from before the catastrophe teased her that night, reminding her of what she could never bring back.

* * *

 **End Notes:** Don't fret, more explanations of the world and the catastrophe will be explained in future chapters. This was a strange start, I know, but I hope there's enough here to entice you to keep reading. I'm just not the type to infodump readers with what's going on in a couple of paragraphs at the beginning the story. I prefer to reveal things more organically as the story goes along because I feel it makes things flow better. Anyways, thanks for reading!


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